Taking a Me moment

I can’t believe I haven’t blogged since Sunday! You’d never know it, but I have so much to say!

I’m finding myself full of gratitude these days. I’m so thankful for the love and support I get from my friends. People don’t realize it, but I grew up shy, awkward and fairly friendless. That all changed in my last few years of High School and I’ve never taken any of it for granted.

This week in particular, I’m feeling my friends showing up for me and it is a reminder of just how fortunate I am. Tuesday I premiered my brand new radio program, The Baub Show. Not only did I have great friends show up on the air with me, but many listened along and participated. On top of that, every person I’ve asked to be a part of it has said yes without hesitation.

Asking your friends for anything, especially to show up for you, is not always an easy thing. It leaves you exposed and vulnerable, which is why when they say, “yes”, your heart is already open and receives the love so much more fully.

I talked on the show about living life with more intention and asking the universe for what I want. This is a theme that has been popping up for me lately and I thought I was participating better in it. It wasn’t until my friend Jo reminded me that the universe is listening and I need to stay responsible with my words.

I could hear the vibration of that comment loudly in my ears when I found myself talking about my radio show with friends. I’ve shyly promoted it and brushed it off as a “hobby”. In my mind I had decided I’d wait for it to be a success before I took pride in it and properly promoted it. How backwards is that?

I also found myself doing this when I first drove myself to Jenny Craig. No one, not even my supportive better half, knew that I was going to do it. The internal pressure I had put on myself would’ve crushed me if I had failed not only myself, but my friends who’s support I rely on.

But since my first LH2.0 post, my friends have been nothing short of supportive and some even inspired. Not one has brought up my diet failures of the past or the wagons I’ve fallen off. Instead, they are right there in the wings cheering me on and filling my heart with warm light that’s helping to keep me on track.

I decided last weekend that my radio show and anything else I set out to do will also be shared confidently and pridefully with everyone I know and most especially with the universe. I will also walk more confidently in my body that has grown stronger with each workout these last few weeks.

I will show and feel more gratitude for my friends and my body and my life. I will continue my evolution and hold my head with pride. I will host my radio show and not think it silly, but a stepping stone to help Ryan Seacrest with some of his workload. I will imagine myself in a sexy photo shoot in a thinner, healthier body that show cases all of my angles and sides and not just my face. I will not take for granted or disconnect or sleep away anymore years of my life.

I am me and I am me with pride. I will walk this journey holding the many hands of my friends. I know that with their love and support, I have nothing to be shy and embarrassed about.

I hope if you’ve taken the time to read this, that you know I’m thankful for your time – even if we’ve never met. I also hope you’ll take a moment to journal, blog or even email yourself some things you are thankful for, some people you are thankful for and some goals you’ve prevented yourself from achieving because you’ve felt silly or embarrassed. Find the strength in your gratitude and the universe will help you get it done.

Sending you all loving thankful vibes from my cell phone.

xoxo Bob

sent through digital vibrations from my cell phone.

Winning with patience

I’m sitting at Starbucks right now, texting this from my cell phone, so please forgive me if this is littered with typos and incomplete thoughts.

Today feels good.

I woke up this morning and the first thing I did was turn on my TV and flip over my coffee table (I wasn’t taking any chances with the padded rug).

I turned on the WiiFit and began entering my information once more. Then it asked me to step on the board and I don’t remember an exhale leaving my body as the screen politely asked me to wait.

“Congratulations! You are obese!”

This will likely and hopefully count as the only time I will ever be happy to hear this! What it means is that I have lost enough weight to be able to get on my WiiFit and that all of my hard work is paying off.

The machine then told me that my weight is 326, my BMI is at 40% and my Wii age is 35! That last one made me happiest!

From there, I headed off to my Jenny Craig weigh-in. Their scale confirmed the results with 327. Exactly 20 pounds from the day I started.

Today is and has been an incredible set of goals achieved and I’m feeling that much more motivated to keep it up.

I have more to say and more goals to share and I’ll likely hop on line this afternoon to share them. In the meantime, it’s a beautiful sunny day outside. I’m going to finish my Americana and take my bike for a spin. I hope you’re doing something great for yourself today. Whether you believe it or not, you absolutely deserve it.

sent through digital vibrations from my cell phone.

The baby is here!

Welcome lil baby G to the world! And she’s pink! (But pink in that healthy way – she’s PERFECT!)

The happy parents are likely going to kill me, but I could not resist!!!!

Wendy is great. Steve is great. All’s well!!!

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Visual re-enforcement

So yeah, remember that full length mirror I was telling you about? I’ve actually discovered an even worse visual reminder that exposes our even worse angles: A friend’s photo of you, posted and tagged on Facebook.

They mean no harm. In fact to them, they only see the memory and the laughs they were having at the time. To them, you look exactly like you do and so the photo is just an organic snap shot of the moment. They were there in the room with you that day and had the full 360 degree view of how you looked, not just your full frontal, smile for the camera, hiding behind someone else, pose.

Using a social networking site like Facebook or Myspace,  or even when you post an online personal somewhere like Match.com, you only post your best side. Your best angle that shows off your best features. Your friends however, aren’t trying to showcase you. They are posting the memory to document and look back fondly on an experience. Because of this, every so often, you are forced to see a photo of yourself that you’d prefer were removed from every mind, memory and data base on the planet. But why, I wonder?

The only person we are hiding that memory from or pretending it didn’t happen is ourselves. The people who were there with us remember the whole thing. They saw our behavior and our appearance first hand. I think we need the reminder of a bad photo to have a better sense of who we are and how we’re doing. I’m surprised at how many people remove their tag from the photos as if that makes it disappear. It doesn’t. The photo is still there on Facebook for all the world to see, it’s just a little bit harder to find.

I decided awhile ago to keep all of my tags. I think it is better that I know and keep track of what is out there instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. Seems like a new theme I’ve adopted lately. Not only am I talking about the pink elephant in the room, but judging by this latest photo found on a friend’s Facebook page, I myself AM the pink elephant in the room.

If I had seen this photo a month ago, I probably would’ve burst into tears, asked my friend who posted it to remove it and eaten food until my stomach hurt and my throat burned. Today, I look at this photo and think, “today I will continue on my diet. I will not consider straying and when it comes time for me to go to the gym, I will go quietly with no internal struggle.”

I can’t hide that photo. It’s me. And from the looks of it, I was having fun in a multi-million dollar mansion on a sunny California day in April laughing with two of my best friends. I’m making a choice to be thankful for this photo instead of humiliated, in spite of the fact that my belly looks like I will be the next Octo-mom.

Definitions of Baub

In my attempt to succeed at one of my many goals (to post a minimum of 5 times a week), I was struggling with a few topics I’ve had on my mind this evening. As usual, instead of sitting down to type, I procrastinated and caught up on my Google Reader. Fortunately, I came across a post from Snackiepoo and felt inspired to steal rip-off create my own list of POSITIVES that define me. I’ve been making lists of everything that is wrong with me for years. We are so quick to critique ourselves and list what we’d change, but how often do we take the time to say out loud our defining traits or features we like or are proud to be?

I am…

…smart

…authentic

…funny

…tall

…honest

…resourceful

…lucky to have such great hair

…loyal

…a confidante

…a good kisser

…strong

…healthy, in spite of my weight

…of sound mind

…a good dancer

…not afraid to behave silly

…a great friend

…wise

…fun to have at a party

…a good listener

…a caring adviser

…able to light a room no matter how far apart the walls

…hopeful

…optimistic

…a good catch

…a pretty great boyfriend

…a fantastic cook

…an appreciator of good jokes and guttural laughter

…deserving

…inspired by my friends and the many people I love

…trying.

Who are you? What wonderful things define you?